I was at Virginia's, baking cookies for my host family, while on her TV - a documentary on caves - glow worms and cockroaches were eating and defecating. And then I was at my host family's, watching "Home Alone," and I liked being reminded of childhood, home, but as soon as they leave him - before he can scream - I have to go, because it's time to be at Debora's, baking cookies for the church's evening service, while on her TV, Goku - hero - releases explosive amounts of energy, and then the Palestinian's face - his face - ... - and then I'm outside, amidst a world of people all eating and defecating, and after the boys passing out candles outside of a church, for three whole blocks there's no sign of the Christian holiday other than the decorations on the store where the rich people shop - and then I'm riding behind her on her motorcylce - and why do I want to embrace her? - and why not - and it's Christmas Eve, and I'm stressed, I'm stressed, I'm happily stressed, and I'm home again but not quite alone, and I do want to be part of this family - "Blake Djerma" - "Djerma, Blake" - and the TV is singing "
The...
little....
lord Jesus...
no crying...
he...
makes...
"But why not? WHY NOT?!? I want my baby Jesus to cry, to weep in Mary's arms, and I want to weep in my mother's arms, and I want a candle and a quiet to reflect, and now that I've eaten - there were cookies - it's time for me to defecate.
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